Not Again
by JazzyBoHart6
Summary: What if Sam Evans had been Bi? What if Kurt Hummel had reacted with devastated pain after Rachel asked Blaine out on a date instead of anger letting Blaine see exactly what hurt his actions caused? What if Sam had come to Kurt's rescue? What if Blaine realized too late what he'd lost? What if Kurt gave up on Blaine in favor of someone better? Not Rachel or Blaine friendly.


_Authors Note: This is my 'What if Sam Evans was Bisexual and Kurt had responded a bit differently to the whole BIOTA shit-fest of epic proportions fic' What if Sam was bi? What if before Kurt broke off the duet Sam had actually formed a crush on Kurt? What if instead of reacting with Anger when Blaine accepted the date with Rachel, Kurt had simply shut down devastated forcing Blaine to witness the repercussions of his actions? Not blaine or rachel friendly._

* * *

 ****

 **KURT'S POV**

" _When we kissed...it felt good._ "

This can't be happening...Not _**again**_.

Rachel _knew_. She knew how he felt about Blaine. It was barely a week ago he told her he was in love with him, that he told her about the mixed signals and coffee dates and Valentines day. Where she was sitting there claiming to be in love with Finn and decided she needed to be on her own for now and focus on preforming. Evidently not.

Was Finn not enough? She'd almost taken some sort of sick pleasure rubbing it in that Finn would always chose her over Kurt because she was a girl, because he was straight and Kurt would never be an option. He'd still tried to be her friend. Sure he'd tried to sabotage her first, but there was a difference between a bad makeover and being intentionally cruel rubbing salt into the open wound of a broken heart...she has gay dads, how the hell can she work out in her head that anything her gay 'friend' wants or has she has to do everything in her power to take or ruin for him? She can't even do it kindly... she has to make sure to hurt him.

She knows how he feels, and she didn't care. She didn't care enough about their friendship to not go after the guy she was fully aware he'd been in love with for MONTHS. Making out directly in front of his face wasn't enough for her.

He couldn't do it anymore. He was done. He was officially giving up.

Their friendship was over. As far as he was concerned Rachel Berry was dead to him. She'd crossed the line too many times. It was more than obvious she just didn't care who she hurt as long as she got what she wanted.

As far as Blaine Anderson went? This was the straw that broke the camel's back. After everything and he was going to go on a date with Kurt's female 'friend' ? He couldn't do this anymore. He wasn't a masochist. There was too much hurt there now for him, your heart can only break over the same person so many times before you have no choice but to give up and protect what's left of you despite the pain and heartache. If it hadn't been clear he needed to get over Blaine Anderson before, if was now. After all this..after everything he couldn't be with him even if he wanted too. There was just too much pain in the way.

With that thought Kurt felt something inside him break...just shatter and fall to pieces. He was done.

* * *

 **BLAINE'S POV**

The second Blaine said it, he expected questions...he expected shock, confusion or even anger that he was going to date a  
girl.

He hadn't expected the look on Kurt's face. The minute he glanced up he saw something shatter in Kurt's eyes.

He hadn't expected Kurt's eyes filling with tears and him slowly wrapping his arms around his waist as if he where trying to hold himself together shaking his head slightly.

"Kurt?" he asked cautiously and heard Kurt take a shaky breath and watched him ,a single tear slip down his cheek and he seemed to not even see Blaine anymore.

His his where filled with pain as he stared past Blaine just shaking his head in apparent defeat.

"This cant be happening...not again...not..not when she knows how I feel about you." Kurt whispered and Blaine's eyes widened as he saw Kurt's face go disturbingly blank, he saw something in Kurt's eyes just break before going completely dull and lifeless shifting from green to a stormy grey and watched as he stood up suddenly just staring dejectedly at nothing words spilling out of him in a pained whisper.

"I can't do this anymore, I give up...she should..she should start paying me, all it takes for Rachel Berry to get a boyfriend is I have to love him first...then without fail they want _her_. Gay or straight it's always _her_. With Finn she had to rub it in my face that she'd always be his first choice because she was a girl...this time was supposed to be different. She **KNOWS** how I feel about you, I told her a week ago I was in love with you...she told me not to give up on you...she told me she loved Finn and was going to be single...I thought she was my _friend_...every time...every time there's something I want she has to take it...she has to ruin it...Solos...Finn...Stuffing the ballot box to get me disqualified after running against me for class president...her and Finn keeping me away from Sam since apparently being seen with me would get him killed because heaven forbid he's friends with the gay kid...and now you. I thought if there was anything she couldn't take away from me it'd be you. I thought this time I'd come before a girl. But she still wins. I...I was wrong thinking this all meant anything to you...the coffee dates and the hand holding and the flirting and everything I said on Valentines day...God the only person who would chose me over Rachel Berry assaulted me and threatened to kill me..what does that even say about me?...I cant- I can't be here anymore. I can't _do_ this anymore. Please don't call me anymore...I need to not be around you. Just...good luck Blaine. I hope you find whatever it is that you're looking for. Tell Rachel...tell her to **never** contact me again. As far as I'm concerned she's-she's dead to me. I'm _done_. I'm finally done with all of it, I give up. She wins. I have nothing left to give" Kurt finished before turning and walking steadily out of the Lima Bean with an air of defeat leaving a stunned Blaine sitting behind him feeling like he just destroyed something precious.

Kurt was in **_love_** with him?

Rachel _knew_ Kurt was in love with him and still asked him out? After she told Kurt not to give up on him? Weren't they supposed to be friends?

Sure he was confused about his feelings, he'd never expected kissing a girl to feel nice. He wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or if he just hadn't met a girl he liked yet...though now he was doubting if Rachel was the sort of person he could be with even if he was Bi after today.

All he could see right now was Kurt's face and how he'd looked when Blaine said he was going on a date with Rachel and the kiss felt good.

Had he been leading Kurt on? Had he really not realized after Valentines day Kurt had feelings for him? Contemplating how he and Kurt where together he felt a ball of lead form in his stomach. He'd gone after Jeremiah over two coffee dates...He and Kurt had probably been on nearly a hundred at this point...he had held Kurt's hand...a lot. Had what he thought was just friendly and affectionate been flirting? Thinking back to singing 'Baby it's cold outside' and in his mind he saw a flash of Kurt's face, eyes that had flicked down towards his lips before he blushed and continued singing. How had he not realized? On Valentines day...Kurt had admitted he thought Blaine would sing to him...he remembered when he spoke to the warblers about the Gap attack the minute he said who he wanted to sing too and as if his subconscious was trying to drive the point home as well he could suddenly see Kurt's face fall and his head drop...he could see Kurt spend the rest of the meeting staring at his hands in his lap...not saying a word for the rest of the meeting and the minute it was over he remembered seeing Kurt walked quickly across the room and disappear out the door without a word to anyone...he hadn't seem him for the rest of the day, but he'd been so wrapped up in his plan that he'd overlooked it...was he really this oblivious? Had he just been refusing to see what was in front of him?

And now Kurt had given up?

Every moment between them was flashing through his mind under a new filter. With the knowledge that Kurt was in love with him he couldn't help but pale and feel his hands start to shake.

All of a sudden everything from the day he'd met Kurt felt different. All of his actions and the pain and confusion they'd probably caused Kurt over the last few months...and it'd been months of him toying with Kurt's emotions, of giving him hope and then throwing it back in his face like it was nothing. Considering what it'd taken for him to fall for Jeremiah and believe his feelings would be returned? It was no wonder Kurt had looked so devastated. So utterly defeated.

How had he not realized? Or did he just not want to see?

He wouldn't blame him if Kurt never wanted to speak to him again. He definitely didn't blame him for being done with Rachel. How would he have felt if after finding out about Jeremiah and him being rejected Kurt had immediately turned around and asked him out and done it in front of him? It would have been awful, and he'd only liked him for a short time. But according to Kurt he'd been in love with him for months and Rachel knew...and did it anyways. Possible spark or not that wasn't something you did to your supposed best friend.

Dalton was about to get awkward. He could only imagine the looks he was going to get once the warblers figured out he'd messed up with Kurt...again.

Heaven help him when Wes found out he was the reason Kurt would be going back to their room with tears in his eyes. Again. He was still recovering from the glaring and cold shoulder he'd gotten around Valentines day. He could already see himself being chased through Dalton by an angry roommate with a gavel, and where Wes went? David followed...and he already knew they'd be backed up by Nick and Jeff who adored Kurt and weren't his biggest fans.

Wait...hadn't he driven them to the Lima Bean?

How was Kurt going to get home without him?

With that he was up out of his seat and moving towards the door trying to think of how he'd get Kurt to let him take him home despite how upset he was, it wasn't safe for Kurt to go walking around Lima by himself.

He stepped out the door prepared to beg Kurt to let him drive him back when he stopped short.

* * *

 **KURT'S POV**

" _Hi you've reached Mercedes, I can't come to the phone right now please leave a message after the-_ "

" _Uh..this is Finn...I cant answer my phone right now...so uhh...Leave a message? Uhh..yeah..okay bye_ "

He kept punching in number after number feeling increasingly panicked when each call went to voicemail ...the sudden thought that he might need to ask Blaine for a ride back to Dalton made him want to scream, the last thing he needed was to sit in a car for two hours with the reason for his pain.

"Pick up Pick up Pick up" he whispered typing in the last number he had other than Rachel Berry who he'd rather risk walking back instead of contacting and nearly shouted in relief when instead of going to voicemail his call was answered.

"Hello? Kurt, is that you? How's it going?" and the voice was so kind and genuinely pleased to hear from him, he couldn't stop the tears welling up in his eyes again.

"Sam?" even he could tell he was on the verge of tears by his voice and tried to repress the sniffles threatening to break through, he couldn't help but wonder briefly if Sam would even notice.

"Kurt? What's wrong? are you ok? Did something happen?" the immediately concerned voice of one Sam Evans came through and before he knew it a sob broke through at the genuine concern from the one boy who had stuck up for him back at McKinnley without needing to be asked, the one who really had no reason too and yet did it anyways. The one who never treated Kurt like he was diseased, like he would 'catch the gay' by being near him.

"Not really...I-I'm sorry for b-bothering you but is there..is there a-any chance you could come pick me up from the Lima Bean?" he asked shakily choking back his tears and the minute he got the words out he heard the telltale sound of key's being handled.

"I'm on my way, are you hurt? Did something happen?" He could tell he'd been placed on speaker and heard a car being started.

"Well...Not physically... Thank you. No one was answering and I didn't want to try to walk back to Dalton. " He sniffled.

"Talk to me Kurt, I'm not that far. What happened?"

"Oh you know, the usual. No one wants me. No one cares if their actions hurt me. I'll never be anyone's first choice. And I'm probably going to die alone. What else is new right?" he responded dully sniffling and wiping a hasty hand across his cheeks to get rid of the tears streaming down, giving up when they where merely replaced with more.

" _Kurt_...no...You're _awesome_ and anyone would be lucky to have you. What about that guy from Dalton?" Sam's voice attempted to soothe.

"Well considering he'd sooner switch teams and date Rachel Berry than even see me as an option? I want nothing to do with either of them right now."

"Wait...what? I thought he was gay? Doesn't Rachel know you like him?"

"Yep apparently Rachel decided asking out the gay guy she knows full and well I have feelings for is acceptable 'best friend' behavior and Blaine apparently doesn't care he's been leading me on for months since he just agreed to go on a date with her, he'd rather question his sexuality after one drunk kiss and date Rachel than consider me. I'm so tired Sam. I'm so tired of no one ever wanting me. God am I really that unappealing?"

"What the f-Of course not Kurt, god you are-...I'm pulling up right now hold that thought"

Glancing up from his tear stained lap he saw Sam's car pulling into a spot and Sam practically flinging himself from the car and jogging up to where he was seated not even hesitating before he was grabbing his shoulders and pulling him up into Sam's chest, wrapping his arms around him. Squeezing slightly when he shuddered and melted into the offered comfort.

"They don't deserve you...don't cry Kurt... it's okay I'm here" he heard Sam whisper and felt warm hands stroking down his back soothingly.

"I just want someone to love me. Is that so much to ask?" Kurt whispered sadly feeling tears slip steadily down his cheeks letting his arms snake around Sam's waist and burying his face into his chest. Letting the hold ground him.

"Of course it isn't. Come on, let's get out of here. Would you rather go home? Dalton? We could go somewhere else if you want? Do something fun and get your mind off everything?" Sam asked pulling back and cupping Kurt's face in his hands thumbs stroking away the tears on his cheeks.

"What'd you have in mind?" Kurt asked softly eyes fluttering close feeling himself slowly relax into the touch. So many people thought he didn't like to be touched, but if anything though he was slightly starved for it. He just never knew the kind of 'touch' he'd be receiving, years of bullying had conditioned him to barely restrained flinching when other people got near. Not Sam though, Sam never made him flinch...Sam had never hurt him. Quite the opposite...Sam had defended him and now here he was again stepping in to be Kurt's Knight in shining armor like his own personal Hero.

"We could go to color me mine? I was going to go later, my parent's anniversary is coming up...I wanted to make them something...or we could go see a movie? Or you could come to my house and hang out...watch avatar or something?"

"Let's go to color me mine if you don't mind me tagging along?"

"Not at all. I want you to come, it'll be a lot better with you there" Sam said with a small smile which grew when he received one in return.

"You're making a habit of this Sam" Kurt said giving Sam a look of affection and gratitude.

"Of what?"

"Saving me. You're sorta my own personal Hero Samuel Evans I'm a little tempted to start calling you Superman. "

Kurt saw Sam smile and couldn't help the blush that flared across his cheeks. Whenever Sam smiled at him like that he couldn't help but be reminded of how much he'd liked Sam when he first moved to McKinnley. His brief crush that he'd shoved into the back of his mind with the harsh reminder that crushing on straight boys wouldn't lead to anything but heart break. But then Sam would do something wonderful and sweet, proving he was far above the other guys in Lima...gay or straight.

"You're worth saving" Sam replied simply letting his hands fall to his shoulders giving a squeeze before the jangle of a door opening caused his eyes to flick above Kurt's head and narrow angrily as he seemed to unconsciously pull Kurt in closer leading Kurt to close his eyes and lean in, dread filling his stomach realizing who must have walked outside to cause Sam to glare that way.

"Let's get out of here and go paint stuff ok? We can even make a Mug for Rachel I'm thinking the words 'Worst best friend Ever' or maybe 'Self Centered Bitch' would be about right? I'd be happy to deliver it" that pulled a snort from Kurt and a nod as he let Sam lead him away from Lima bean and Blaine towards the passenger side of his car and open it for Kurt waiting till he was settled before shutting the door.

Instead of moving over to his own however he turned and stalked angrily towards a wary Blaine standing just outside the door watching them as if he wanted to try to talk to Kurt again. Part of Kurt wanted to open the door and stop him, to protect Blaine from Sam's wrath...but why should he? With that Kurt simply leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes, deciding to simply ignore it and let Sam do whatever he wanted in his defense. It felt nice to have someone so ready and willing to defend him, to care enough to be upset someone had hurt him.

In no time he could hear the drivers side opening and he let his eyes open to glance over at Sam who was giving him that same soft smile again that he couldn't help but return. He didn't bother looking for Blaine to see whatever reaction he had to Sam. He was tired of caring about people who didn't care about him.

He'd need to watch himself with Sam. It'd be far too easy for his crush to reassert itself when Sam was acting wonderful. He'd had enough heartbreak to last him a long while without adding to it, at this point his insecurities had insecurities.

Didn't mean he wouldn't enjoy it though.

and if he slipped into his bed at Dalton later that night with a surprised smile on his face despite the lingering pain and sadness with a new mug on his nightstand after assuring Wes they would talk in the morning? He was grateful. He'd fully expected to cry himself to sleep earlier. He couldn't help but bury his grin into his pillow before brushing a hand softly over his own cheek feeling the phantom sensation of soft lips pressing to it tenderly as he and Sam had said goodbye.

That'd been surprising.

No more so however than words that'd been whispered into his ear a second later before Sam was giving him that soft smile again with a slight blush across his cheeks as he walked back to his car leaving Kurt standing surprised with a hand to his cheek and a small smile on his lips.

The minute he'd gotten to his room he'd brushed aside Wes questions as to why Blaine came back to Dalton hours earlier looking guilty and was avoiding him, obviously meaning he'd done something to upset Kurt. But Kurt said there was something he needed to do and they could talk about it in the morning. Since he was smiling and blushing Wes let it go assured that Kurt obviously wasn't falling apart.

Pulling out his phone and typing in a Na'vi to English translator he carefully typed in the words Sam had whispered against his ears before dropping his phone in surprise.

' I'm bisexual, and you where **my** _first_ choice'

Oh.

Well that changes things.

He had no idea how long he sat there contemplating this new revelation before he was jarred out of his thoughts.

Hearing his phone beep he picked it back up blushing when Sam's name popped up

 _' I'm home safe and sound...and...if you've translated what I said by now which I'm assuming you have...you should probably know first off I'm single...second I think you're amazing and I really like you. I don't know if I have a chance or not but you should know I've wanted one since the day we met, I should have told you sooner. You're amazing Kurt, I've always thought so. It breaks my heart that you think no one wants you when it's not even slightly true. I hope that once you've had a chance to move on you'll consider me. If you want I can wait till you're ready to talk, you're worth it and the minute I'm allowed to pursue you I will... if you decide to take a chance on me I swear you wont regret it. Goodnight Gorgeous.-Sam'_

He could feel the blush staining his cheeks and a giggle burst out of his mouth of it's own accord...he hesitated for barely a moment before mentally shrugging and deciding to respond.

 _'I haven't stopped smiling since you left. I had the most amazing time with you today Sam, can't remember the last time I laughed so much...especially on a day I'd been so upset. Since you were honest with me I'm going to be honest with you...had I known you where an option Blaine never would have had a chance to break my heart in the first place. I liked you first, before I even came to Dalton I had the biggest crush on you... I just didn't think you were an option for me. Now that I know otherwise though? You definitely have a chance Sam, you've always had one. Give me a week or so to move on from this and get my feelings in order...after that feel free to pursue to your hearts content...I'm more than looking forward to it. Sweet Dreams Handsome-Kurt'_

Kurt guessed they were right when they said that when one door closes another one opens. The door on his feeling's for Blaine had slammed shut, locked and then exploded to smithereens after the Lima Bean...whereas Sam's went from being partially closed to having the door ripped off it's hinges and flung away with sunshine streaming out and birds chirping happily from the opening.

A week of avoiding Blaine with the help of Wevid and Niff later and Kurt was left blushing beet red in his french class when a large bouquet of roses were delivered right to the classroom causing cat-calls and whistles when his name was read out by his grinning teacher. He was so happily stunned that he never even noticed the shocked and suddenly jealous look that crossed Blaine's face when he accepted the bouquet and breathlessly giggled before he inhaled their scent deeply, reading the card attached and running his fingers gently over Sam's name signed at the bottom with a happy sigh.

So this is what it felt like to have someone chase you for a change.

He could definitely get used to this. 

* * *

_Authors Note: Yeah I don't even know where this came from to be perfectly honest. So I've sort of not really been sleeping, my schedule is essentially non existent at this point and I'm constantly nodding off and then shaking myself awake only to repeat the process 5 minutes later. I'm thinking of a coffee IV drip because it's gotten to the point I'm slapping myself periodically throughout the day just to keep awake. My exhausted delirium mixed with being medicated via vape (I'm not sleeping because of pain) lead to a sudden influx of sporadic ideas that just will not leave me alone. This is one and there's another that I'll probably put down in words at some point as well. I have no idea if I'll do an accompanying fic to go along with this, I definitely might. The ideas are there. I just want to focus on my other ones. Any inspiration though to write I'll be taking it, the only way to get back into the zone is to throw yourself into the deep end and write everything that comes to mind or at least it is for me._


End file.
